Monday, July 16, 2007

Life in the Future

Dippin Dots have been "the ice cream of the future" for most of my life. Most people eat regular ice cream. This is a failure of our parents' generation.

Their parents' generation polished off the Germans and Japanese and came home and built a spaceship and took it to the moon. Our parents won the Cold War by default and a few years later they made ice cream that looks like little styrofoam balls and they sold it at Six Flags. What the hell happened to the moon?

Of course there are other theories. Ok so maybe after the Cold War somebody built a time machine and went to the future and everyone was eating Dippin Dots. And the guy was like "I gotta have these" and the future people said "we have lots of extra, take some, sell it at Six Flags" and the guy came home and scrapped the time machine. Which would explain why we don't have time machines but we still have Dippin Dots. That's probably not it.

Our generation came up with YouTube and E-bay and got the word "twentyfour-seven" into the dictionary. And we demanded martian landers and flying cars and instead we got iPods and stealth bombers. So I can't go live on the moon but I can watch TV on my phone. And I have to drive on roads. Imagination is dead. Or we need to grow up quicker, and get more say.

So if you're say sixty or something and the best you thought of is Dippin Dots and bombing the shit out of other countries, then you should resign and let one of us takeover. And there should be 5 parties or more so there's less deadlock and I don't have to fear for my grandchildren. And then we could have consensus and we could override vetoes when eighty five percent of us agree and three assholes think otherwise.

And we can bring back the stealth bombers and turn them into flying cars, and fly over to Ben and Jerry's and eat regular ice cream and go "screw you, Dippin Dots. You were wrong. This is the future."

Just a thought.

1 comment:

brookLyn gaL said...

Liz and I got really excited at the DC zoo because we saw people walking around with Dippin Dots. Then it turned out that they just came from a machine instead of a nice guy with a cart. Somehow, I think this has permanently ruined Dippin Dots for me.