Slow Down, Science!

In case you haven't noticed, in the last few years a whole lot of stuff's been going on in the scientific community. NASA’s got all kinds of cool stuff planned in outer space; new energy sources are being discussed and discovered as we speak; and lots of other crazy stuff too, I'm sure. But my main concern here is the medical field. Life expectancies are way up, and we have new drugs and treatments for all kinds of diseases and conditions. And that's great. Or is it? Don't get me wrong, treating the sick is a great thing. No one should have to suffer from medical ailments.

But I'm beginning to think science is to blame for my laziness and lack of a real job. You see, I graduated college in '05, and applied to lots of jobs during that summer. In October I briefly went down to Florida for a job, but then returned home with lots of goals and dreams. I then proceeded to lounge around and do absolutely nothing for a year and a half. I didn't work at all. I barely even applied to jobs. And why? Because of stupid science and all its dumbass "breakthroughs." Here's what I'm getting at: one hundred years ago, I couldn't possibly have afforded to sit on my ass for a year and a half at age 23. I would've been dead by age 40. It would've been time to start my life and my family by age 16 or so. But in today's world, I'm gonna live to be over 100, so what's the point in rushing out and getting started now?

I'm only gonna get bored sooner if I start busting my ass now. And granted, I may not have medical insurance, but it's not like I have to worry about getting sick. We can treat practically anything. Because I know I'm gonna live a long time, and I'm probably gonna be healthy, I don't really care about getting on with my life. It'd be nice to move out and live on my own, but not if it means working hard. Science is really screwin me here.

And it's only gonna get worse as I get older. By the time I'm forty there'll probably be all kinds of crazy stem cell medications and stuff. I could probably chop off my arm and just have it grown back. And what's gonna be the point of working hard if I don't have to worry about permanently losing an arm? Science is slowly taking away all the former pressures of life. Stay out of society's norms, science! We're supposed to fear all kinds of stuff and therefore get crappy jobs and lives.

I work a crappy retail job now, and I hate it a lot, so I'm probably gonna quit soon and return to my former ways of sleeping a lot and watching DVDs. I think 30 is the new 16, so I've got like 5 years until I really need to worry about getting going with my life. But by then, I'm sure science will find some way to screw me again. And if not, I've got a long list of other people and things to blame for my lack of motivation. Watch out Steve Jobs, you're next.