This is the third time I've changed the name that appears on this blog. Why? It mirrors my struggle to figure out who I am, what I'm all about, what I want to be. Do I need to do it right now? No, but I feel lost without it. There's something unsettling about not knowing who you are, not knowing where you're going. Shouldn't life be about the journey? It is, at least until you realize that so many others have already arrived. I wonder if arrival is scarier than the journey...
I started this post wanting to talk about how I have so few friends where I live. I keep wanting to move, keep wanting to escape from what isn't working and what doesn't make me happy. But for what? To where? It's the questions, the details that paralyze me. Paralysis. That's it. I feel paralyzed. But I'm in my 20s. I can go anywhere, do anything, become anyone. So why do I feel so trapped?
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3 comments:
It's funny that you say that, cause for me it's completely the opposite. I can't stand having my life all planned out, with a definite job and a definite place to live and all that crap. That makes me feel trapped. I need to know that at any moment I can pick up and go somewhere else. (Even though I haven't, despite saying for two years that I'm gonna leave soon.) For me the ultimate journey is without a definite destination or time constraints.
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